A Spoonful Weighs a Ton

The End

2006-11-15T14:34:00.000-05:00

This blog is probably done for good.

There is nothing original left in my brain.

Except for this one idea for a movie, about this guy who has a time machine that allows him to travel forward in time at exactly the same rate as one would without the machine. He tries to convince people that it really is a time machine with only one speed setting, but everyone wants to apply Occam's razor to the situation, and the movie ends with him saying to himself "It seems that in this case, Occam's razor is, simply put, too sharp!"

JoeyJoJo has written a trailer for the movie, which is awesome. Here it is.

[trailer]

What if the world you knew…

Scene: One of those spinning shots where the guy is in the middle and everything is revolving around him.

was only slightly different than what you thought?

Scene: Shot of the hero quizzically looking at his time machine.

[/end trailer]

In case you were wondering, that was the perfect joke. That's a good way to end, thanks JoeyJoJo.

The End.

Spoonful Presents: I Never Knew That!

2006-11-07T15:03:00.000-05:00

Nepal is the single most Hinduic nation of the world (by percentages of practicing citizens of course.)

I never knew that!

Oliver Heaviside proposed the existence of the Kennelly-Heaviside Layer of the ionosphere which bears his name.

I never knew that!

Homophobia is not a laughing matter. It really isn't.

I never knew that!

There remains no atheistic theory of verbs and adverbs. Even still, this is not a proof of God's existence.

I never knew that!

Though a 20 ton Mack truck may be on course to hit you in your Hyundai Sonata, the fact that there exists a thin yellow to his and your left, is enough reason for you to not take corrective action against what appears to be certain disaster. In fact, it's best if you don't.

I never knew that!

Guest Blog: Bad Idea #3

2006-11-02T17:42:00.000-05:00

This one is from a regular reader, JoeyJoJo.

I'm publishing it before I even read it, I have faith in this guy.

Bad Idea #3

The set up is this: it’s several hundred years in the future, the world is all city. There are no more forests and cities are built on top of oceans. Microchips are implanted in every baby born. These chips allow you to communicate with anyone simply by thinking it. Coordinating movement has become instinctual, huge groups of people act together without contemplating why.

But there is a downside as well. Without proper discipline each and every thought can be communicated to whoever you are thinking about. The weak-minded have no privacy, no time alone and they turn to a popular new drug.

"The Flew" blocks your mind’s outputs, so you can’t communicate with others. It’s the only way for some people to survive. But the drug mutates and instead of blocking the output it is soon blocking other’s inputs.

If the world government doesn’t act fast enough, soon everyone will be infected and society will revert to a primitive age.

If this idea isn’t bad enough, let me add this: lead actor – Nicholas Cage.

Here’s the trailer.

In a world where everyone is connected…

Scene: Wide shot of a huge city, huge buildings, people everywhere. Zoom in on a man who is having a conversation in his mind with nobody in particular. Zoom in again, this time inside his brain and come back out to show a woman in a different city carrying on the other side of the conversation.

boundaries shrink…

Scene: A crowded bar, a lonely man sitting on a bar stool. A sexy woman sits down next to him. The man closes his eyes and starts muttering to himself. Zoom inside his brain and there is a shot of him and the woman sharing an intimate moment. The image is shattered and we see the woman throwing her drink in his face and slapping him.

and the only escape…

Scene: A dirty underground area. The man in the bar looks around nervously. Zoom inside his brain and we see him shooting up some kind of drug. The image is again lost and he opens his eyes to see a man standing in front of him, peddling a drug called, “the flew.” The dealer says, “Want to fly away?”

is the one thing you can’t do.

Scene: A multitude of quick-hitting shots, showing glimpses of a highly organized military police converging in the underground area, shots of the man in various locales, wide shots of entire populations moving in unison like a flock of birds, then ending by zooming out and showing the entire world, but there is no more green and blue, it is all gray, an entire world of buildings and pavement.

I also want to incorporate the idea that the entire world has become like one being. The way each part can communicate with others, we don’t have to think about what everything in our body needs to do in order to move our arm, it just all happens. That’s the basis for this bad movie idea. I want to get in that ending shot where you pull way back and get a picture of something like the space baby in 2001.

Bad Idea #2

2006-10-14T09:13:00.000-04:00

Welcome to part 2 in this recurring series. The motivation behind this series can be found at Bad Idea #1. This bad idea is once again for a really bad movie. I've written the first page of the script, and the rest pretty much writes itself.

Movie Title: Neuron 5 and the Fall of Humanity

We see nothing but darkness, as a narrator begins to speak.

"Every morning within the skull of one James Sittler, a resident of San Diego, California, a neuron would fire. The firing of this neuron, henceforth referred to as neuron 1, would be followed by the firing of neuron 2 a fraction of a second later. Then fired neurons 3 and 4. At this point, neurons 5, 6, 7, and 8 would, for all practical purposes, fire simultaneously. This interesting series of events corresponded to the thought inside the skull of James as "A new morning! It is time to get out of bed. I feel like some coffee." Neurons 9 through 21 would then fire in such a sequence as to generate the thought "But you don’t look like coffee", followed closely by neurons 22 through 29 firing giddily, saying "That’s mildly humorous, but why do I make this joke every morning?"

These neuron firings happened the same way every morning for most of James’ adult life. Unfortunately for the human race, the sequence of neuron firings outlined above, but with one small change whereby neuron 5 did not fire, generated the thought “It’s time to devise a plan to end humanity.” Due to a quantum slip, neuron 5 failed to fire one sunny June morning, 2011. It should be mentioned that determinism had long since decided to put James in a position whereby he could act on this thought. A truly horrible twist of fate indeed! For James was a world leader in the fight against bioterrorism and was employed at a biosecurity firm, the very firm that was designed to stop humans with quantum slips in neuron 5 from ever succeeding in their plans. This was the beginning of the downfall of humanity, which would be wiped out in a few short years. I am the lone survivor, and I have a built this time machine to go back to 2011 and kill James Sittler!."

Lights turn on in his garage, to reveal the time machine. It's big and metallic.

---------------------------------------------------------

From here we follow the heroes plight as he battles forces, neither good nor evil, in his attempt to stop what at first glance appears to be unstoppable. Will determinism eventually have its way? Is there anything our hero can do about it? We are led to question the concepts of free will, determinism, time travel, and probably God. In the end, it appears as though our hero has overcome the forces and has subdued James Sittler. It will turn out that the head injury James received in the scrum is the reason for neuron 5 not firing the next morning. That is a twist that is almost unfathomable, as our hero was in fact being used as a pawn in the twisted game that determinism plays on us all.

I may end the movie with it all being a dream, but I haven't decided one way or the other.

I don't think anybody has thought of anything remotely like this before.

A lot of my ideas seem to involve time travel. I'm just going to go ahead and pretend that doesn't mean anything.

Book Review: Degrees of Freedom

2006-10-07T15:12:00.000-04:00

I just finished reading my copy the new book "Degrees of Freedom", and I echo the sentiments of many reviewers in saying that this book truly brings us into a new era of the written word. This book accomplishes so much and is so entertaining that I barely know where to begin. I almost feel embarrassed in putting myself in a position of judgement over this book, as if I can adequately assess this profound work of genius using my reptilian mind.

The book begins in a lecture hall, circa 2005, location: Madison, Wisconsin. A physics professor is lecturing clearly and concisely on the concept of "degrees of freedom", a really boring idea in physics that you shouldn't care about. That is until this author weaves this idea seamlessly with that of another important concept, the concept of slavery. After our brief encounter in the lecture hall, we are taken to late 18th century America, where we meet our hero, a slave named Mercury. As it turns out, Mercury is really sad (due to the slavery). He sets on a course of action to try to free himself from his "yankee oppressors". Through his adventures we come to learn more and more about this character, including his proficiency at manipulating the laws of nature to serve himself. I don't think a lot of slaves had this power, but Mercury sure does. The interesting thing though, is that instead of smiting his captors, he decides to travel in time, to you guessed it, Madison, Wisconsin, circa 2005. Yes, he's the physics professor! Holy smokes, crazy time.

I won't give away too much of this book, mostly because of the difficulty I would have explaining the mirrored story lines in the two eras. For example, it is difficult to imagine how the author could successfully draw parallels between an increasing heat capacity of a gas as the degrees of freedom increase, to that of a slave being exposed to a higher level of freedom, and the emotional toll it takes. But he does it! And in the end, we are led to the questions that we must face ourselves: What is freedom? Am I truly free? The answers may surprise you! (Hint: No, you're not free, metaphorically speaking. If you're an alcoholic, you're a slave to alcohol.)

There are a number of smaller themes throughout the novel as well, which if it weren't for the majestic story drawing our full attention, would surely draw our entire planet further into the truth. It will take years, and many rereadings, for the full glory of this book to shine through. For example, the author manages to finally unite science and religion, rewrite the rules of poetry, and make giant strides in the theory underlying nanotechnology.

Most people are probably hesitant to read 3000+ pages, but if you do, you will come away as a changed human. I used to do cocaine every day. Since I read this book, I no longer have to. The rate at which endorphins are no being produced in my brain has skyrocketed 10-fold.

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You may be confused at this point, as there is no book entitled "Degrees of Freedom", or at least I hope not. Often I read a book review and conclude "I wish I wrote that book." Well, now I can. I'm going to email this review out to various publishers, and once someone agrees that they would like to publish a book with that kind of review, the writing process will begin. It is likely that I'll be very rich in a few short weeks.

Vacuously True (and Hilariously Over-the-top!) Statements That Can't Be Denied

2006-10-02T21:34:00.000-04:00

Every time I murder a small puppy, I feel absolutely delighted! (What?)
Whenever x² < -23 (assuming x is real of course), I like to douse myself in gasoline, and light myself on fire! (That's an over-the-top statement if I've ever heard one! And hilarious too.)
Every day that is February 30th, I like to recommend heroine as a cure for the common cold! (No doctor in his/her right mind would agree with the implication of my statement. Yet it is true nonetheless, or at least vacuously so. That's what makes it really funny.)
You will never see a sad face on the dance floor (That one is just true, as I've stated before in an earlier entry.)

So you see, math can be fun!

In addition to being able to make such statements as these, I also advise you to make use of the following rebuttal when someone makes a conjecture that a certain statement is true. When your nemesis, or friend, or girl you are trying to impress says "X is true", you reply with "Yeah, vacuously true!" It rarely makes sense, but on the off chance it does, well it's seriously worth it. You will be honoured for years to come. People will reminisce about the time you said "Yeah, vacuously true!" and it made complete sense, as the premise of your foe's statement could never be fulfilled.

Is my blog getting better and better? Answer: Debatable.

My Computer Achieved Consciousness Today

2006-09-26T21:07:00.000-04:00

Just for 10 minutes though. I was not expecting this, not today.

What did he say? He said we're on the right track. I had a feeling we were.

Look What I've Done

2006-09-21T18:06:00.000-04:00

I think I've just wrecked math... again. I know a few people who are going to be upset!

Here's how: I've discovered three numbers that do not satisfy the "Pythagorean Theorem", namely 20, 10, and 25. Go ahead, try to do it. It just won't work. 20² + 10² = 500 and 25² = 625.

You may argue that the numbers are only supposed to work for the sides of a right triangle. I'm not an idiot, I know that people claim this. Let's pretend that I grant you this, are you trying to tell me that I can't construct a right triangle with sides of length 10 cm, 20 cm, and 25 cm? I don't believe you. The burden of proof, I do believe, is on you.

Cliché Analysis Blog: "Calling a Spade a Spade"; or Horticulture Blog #2

2006-09-17T13:08:00.000-04:00

Although it is mildly impressive when someone is able to successfully identify a spade as being a spade, it is much more remarkable when someone correctly determines when a spade is in fact, something else. Like a shovel. What follows in an illustration, done via writing, possibly to be made into a short film at some point, but for now will remain as simply a way of establishing my point.

Gardener 1: I see a spade. It is a spade. I'm calling a spade a spade.

Gardener 2: I challenge you on that point. I say the spade is shovel.

Gardener 1: That is ridiculous. Wouldn't you have to say "That shovel is a shovel", if in fact the object we are both describing is a shovel? Besides, it is a spade.

Gardener 2: I believe in a roundabout way, you are begging the question.

Gardener 1: That statement is misguided!

Gardener 2:Either way, let's not get bogged down in semantics. That spade is a shovel, and I can prove it, but first we'll have to agree on a definition of "shovel".

Gardener 1: Well, a shovel digs, but it can also kill kittens. Which definition is more appropriate?

Gardener 2: I suggest we go with the first. A shovel digs. We will both start digging, you with a shovel, and me with this object, the object you refer to as "spade".

Gardener 1: Ok.

They dig, and it turns out Gardener 2 digs an impressive hole with the spade, thereby rendering it a shovel.

Gardener 1: I guess that spade is a shovel. You have proven me wrong once again!

Implying that the past has seen much of the same, ie. Gardener 2 has constantly proven Gardener 1 wrong in some fascinating way!

Gardener 2: So I have. Let's not dwell on it though. We have more gardening to do, as we are both gardeners.

The End.

Increasing The Number of Interesting Situations You Face: A Guide

2006-09-14T13:52:00.000-04:00

If your life is something like mine, you tend to get bored by the day-to-day routine of it all. You get along with your friends, neighbors, workmates, law-enforcement officers, and so on. I've been thinking about this for a few hours today, and I've decided to once again offer advice to my vast readership. The key, I think, is to increase the number of interesting situations you face, and I've compiled a three step guide to make this number skyrocket. Here we go.

Step 1: Insult people you are close to a little bit more often. However, be sure that your insult can be interpreted in a less insulting way, as this will provide you with an out should you want to use it. For example, you could say to your boss "You smell like burnt tires." Do not say "You smell like burnt tires, which I, like the vast majority of the population, find offensive." The first statement provides a way out. If he threatens to fire you, you simply say (with a sly grin) "But I enjoy the smell of burnt tires!" Situation diffused.

Step 2: Lie about trivial things. Like the time, or the weather. Or whether or not the elevator is working today. People will have no idea what's motivating you to do such things, so this will more than likely make for interesting confrontations. Remember the sly grin.

Step 3: Make liberal use of the following phrases:

"Although I don't agree with his views, the methods Ted Kaczynski used were certainly admirable."
"I find it hard to believe that metaphysical naturalism can completely account for consciousness."
"Yes, as a matter of fact I am carrying a bomb. It's in my backpack."

Warning: This guide remains untested, I just thought this stuff up this morning. Please let me know how it works out for you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Update: I've added a Step 4: Start diagnosing people with fatal conditions. They don't actually need to have the fatal condition though, that's what makes it so interesting!

I'm Not Narcissistic Enough

2006-09-11T15:51:00.000-04:00

No, I'm just joking. Well not really. I honestly do sometimes wonder if I am narcissistic enough, though I've come to no definite conclusion. That's not the point of this blog though. The truth is I wrote this blog title in an attempt to be completely original, as I thought nobody would have ever written that phrase before. Apparently though, a surprisingly high number of people in the blogosphere have written it, I just googled it.

Conclusion: It is becoming increasingly more difficult to write down an original phrase, let alone an original idea. This spells trouble for this blog. I guess if I am to remain "cutting edge", I am going to have to pretty much become a horticulture blog. Nothing but horticulture. All the time. The previous entry was a sneak preview into what you can expect from this blog in the future. I know it was good, I just don't know if I can keep it up.

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Upon further research, it has come to my attention that there are already a number of horticulture blogs. That's surprising.

Horticulture Blog

2006-09-10T22:04:00.000-04:00

Instructions:

1. Plant Tree
2. Water Tree
3. Watch Tree Grow!

Zoology

2006-09-05T19:47:00.000-04:00

This is one of the few words in the English language with no exact opposite. I don't know whether this should make me feel happy or sad. I guess I have some serious thinking to do.

It can be argued that twelve has two exact opposites. I suggest you don't.

Opinion: Axioms From Euclidean Geometry That Really Need To Go - Part 1

2006-09-02T20:51:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the first article in a five part series.

The axiom that I hate the most is:

Axiom 3: Given any straight line segment, a circle can be drawn having the segment as radius and one endpoint as center.

I don't really understand this one at all. I think it's kind of dumb. This axiom has got to go!

Bad Idea #1

2006-08-30T08:53:00.000-04:00

Welcome to a new segment here at "A Spoonful Weighs a Ton". This "Bad Idea" segment aims to assemble all the possible bad ideas that haven't been thought of yet, in an effort to stop these ideas from reaching mainstream media, due to copyright laws. I would not be surprised if the list reaches the low 200's. Let's begin. The following movie will never see the light of day (unless I decide to sell the rights, but as I've maintained from day 1, Spoonful cannot be bought.)

Bad Idea #1

Movie Title: Commutator Zero

Movie Description: An alien, Z, who takes the form of a man, comes to earth from a far away galaxy. Actually, he comes from so far away that the physical laws in his home universe are much different from our own. One of the more interesting laws in his homeland is the "commutator zero" law, which is the name given for the fact that it does not matter what order you do things. Ever. For example, you would probably agree that the order of the following tasks is important for the ultimate outcome:

1. Fill a pot with water
2. Boil water
3. Put hand in water
4. Take hand out of water

Now do this:

1. Fill a pot with water
2. Put hand in water
3. Take hand out of water
4. Boil water

Very different outcomes due to a modest reordering of tasks, yes? But in Zuzuu (Z's home planet, and universe, where also z and u are the only letters they have, so they have to use the same name for planet and universe, due of course to the very limited number of words they can actually create) the order does not matter! Wrap your head around that. Of course you can't, it's like trying to imagine a fourth spatial dimension, a new color, or a Brit with good teeth! (To my British readers: That was certainly a low blow, and very unoriginal. Here's the problem though. My backspace key is quite honestly broken, so both you and I are stuck with that joke. Sorry.)

Ok, so I hope you're following. Now, Z comes to earth, and since he is used to the order of tasks never being an issue, hilarious occurences, well, they occur. The first hilarious occurence will probably be the hand in the boiling water bit. I'm not sure how to motivate that scene, but it will come. Another hilarious occurence could be when Z goes to the bathroom! Yes, you've probably already thought of this. Recommended order: Go to the bathroom, then clean yourself up. What Z does is this: Cleans himself up, then goes to the bathroom! Leaving himself unclean! Gross!

So, after a good two hours of exploring Z and his interesting dilemma, the movie will "end" and the audience will be asked to leave. Once the patrons have left the theatre, the real ending will be shown to an empty theatre. This seemingly absurd conclusion of course is one final illustration, that indeed, on planet earth, the order of doing things is very important! This is art baby.

This is a really bad idea.

Solipsism

2006-08-28T16:49:00.000-04:00

heh...

Movie Review: Too Fast and Furious - Tokyo Dreams

2006-06-11T15:07:00.000-04:00

A few times per generation, a movie comes out that challenges the very foundations of our society. The latest movie to do this was Crash, an effective and startling ensemble piece examining racial tensions in L.A. Not only has this movie great on its own, it also paved the way for the mind blowingly artistic vision of director Justin Lin and his movie Too Fast and Furious - Tokyo Dreams. When you were watching Crash, were you thinking to yourself, "I agree with what Paul Haggas is saying here, but there is a distict lack of high speed street racing to illustrate his points." Well Tokyo Dreams is the movie for you. It is a movie of intense fascination; we understand quickly enough who the characters are and what their lives are like, but we have no idea how they will behave, because so much depends on high speed racing, and occasionally, time travel. Most movies enact rituals; we know the form and watch for variations. Tokyo Dreams is a movie with free will, and anything can happen. Because we care about the characters, the movie is uncanny in its ability to rope us in and get us involved.

The movie seemlessly drifts between 13 different time periods, including the opening scene in 8th century Peru, an oft overlooked era in time travel - street racing - racial tension genre films. We come to learn the main character was in fact born and raised here, which mercifully ties up a few loose ends from the previous two installments of this epic trilogy (Remember the sheep shearing scene at the end of the second movie??? It made no sense, right? Well, Minton was a sheep shearer in his earlier days, and the regions best. He was up for an award, but was tragically mauled by wild dogs on his way to the ceremony. That also explains his facial scars.)

After this we are led through other eras in time, and occasionally, other planets. The movie's most interesting scene was on a planet three galaxies over and two centuries in the future. On this planet, the language kept turning into pure music, because the creatures there were so enchanted by sounds. Words became musical notes. Sentences became melodies. They were useless as conveyors of information, because nobody knew or cared what the meanings of words were anymore. So leaders in government and commerce, in order to function, had to invent new and much uglier vocabularies and sentence structures all the time, which would resist being transmuted to music.

It is hard to see how this could all be made to fit into a movie, let alone, the best movie. But it does. So, if you are like me, and are eagerly awaiting for the sequel to Bring It On Again, then I promise you that this movie will hold you over until that glorious day.

Words I'd Like to See Changed

2006-05-02T20:33:00.000-04:00

Professor - This should have two f's
Proffessor. Doesn't that look better?
Tea Time -> Teatime. If it's not one word already, it should be.
Professor Tea Time -> Proffessor Teatime

The Great Hoax

2006-04-21T10:44:00.002-04:00

The academic world is reeling today after an article came out yesterday in which Stephen Hawking is reported to have constructed a proof which invalidates most of mathematics. It has been suppressed here in North America, so I will paste most of the article here for my readers.

"Never has 243 pages said so much. The is the thought that most of the world's mathematicians and academics in general are waking up to today. Rumours have been spreading like wildfire over the past two weeks that world renowned theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking has come up with a proof that proves that the number 437 is illusory or non-existent, thereby rendering mathematics incorrect at best.

Late yesterday afternoon the paper appeared on the open access Arxiv website, a popular place for physicists and mathematicians to publish their papers. Although it is difficult for the layman to understand the line of argument, most mathematicians are confident that the proof is solid. Says Princeton mathematician Tom Rubic "I've always been suspicious of the number 437. I mean, have you actually seen 437 of something, anything? The answer is no, you haven't, and neither have I. This is a dark day for the mathematics community. With the elimination of 437, our number system has been destroyed, along with the hopes and dreams of many a mathematician. But worse, the children of this world will now have to grow up in a world without math."

At first glance, it may not appear to be too devastating to simply not have the number 437. However, the number system is built like a house of cards. The reasons are subtle, but if you remove one, the whole thing comes crashing down. Although it is conceivable to build a number system that ends at 436, most mathematicians do not hold out much hope. Says Tom Rubic "I don't hold out much hope."

This enormous finding does not just spell trouble for mathematics, but for science as a whole. Given that most theories in science are based on mathematical models, the proof therefore leads to a destruction of the entire scientific enterprise. Some however are eager to salvage what they can of science. Tennis great Roger Federer suggests that perhaps science will simply have to become much less precise. "For example", say Roger, "When talking about gravity, it is simply meaningless to say the gravitational pull of earth causes objects to accelerate at 9.8 m/s². We should be thinking more like Aristotle, and teaching our children the same, that objects move toward their natural place at the centre of the earth."

Many scientists have expressed enormous confusion at the findings. For example, the technological advances of the 20th century were directly related to the rise of the scientific method. "It turns out" says Microsoft founder Bill Gates, "that pretty much all of the crap we've created, including computers, cars and manned space missions, were lucky guesses. I want to vomit."

Not all mathematicians though are convinced of the proof. Prof. Ben Brubaker of Stanford states emphatically that the proof is flawed. "Many people read a paper from Hawking and assume it is correct. I would guess most have probably only read the first and last page. If they had read the whole thing they probably would have noted the lack of complete sentences, the interchanging at random between writing in English, German, and Pig Latin, his frequent threats against Israel, and oh look, here's a 25 page quote from 'The Hobbit' right in the middle of the proof. I'm no mathematician*, but something is seriously wrong here." (*Ben was reminded that he is a mathematician, to which he expressed dismay). ......
"

That is a portion of the article. I haven't gone through the proof yet myself, but I think it is important that I, and you the reader, do this. Although it is true that most people in wheelchairs are smarter than you, it doesn't mean they don't make mistakes. Am I right?

We're Well Into the 21st Century....

2006-04-21T08:51:00.000-04:00

Why are we still using vowels?

100 m: Summer vs. Winter

2006-02-13T11:05:00.000-05:00

Now that the Winter Olympics have arrived, I'm getting a lot of questions in my inbox asking me that same question that is addressed every Olympic Games. How do the times in the 100 m sprint in the Summer Olympics compare with the 100 m times in the skating sprint in the Winter Olympics? I will be researching this topic today, and I will publish the results later.

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It turns out, there is no 100 m speedskating sprint. Why are you people asking me this then? I think it is a shame and it really should be an Olympic sport. I've contacted the Italian embassy here in America, and I have it on good word that it may be introduced in these Olympics in Tehran. Unfortunately no skaters have trained for this distance, which may cause some concerns.

True Statements

2006-02-10T18:32:00.000-05:00

In my quest to find the truest statement, I've decided it would be good to write down a list of statements which are most likely true. I will add to this list as I come up with them, on the condition that the next statement is truer than the last. I admit, it will be tough to follow 1 with a truer statement.

1. You never see a sad face on the dance floor