Monday, October 02, 2006

Vacuously True (and Hilariously Over-the-top!) Statements That Can't Be Denied

  • Every time I murder a small puppy, I feel absolutely delighted! (What?)
  • Whenever x2 < -23 (assuming x is real of course), I like to douse myself in gasoline, and light myself on fire! (That's an over-the-top statement if I've ever heard one! And hilarious too.)
  • Every day that is February 30th, I like to recommend heroine as a cure for the common cold! (No doctor in his/her right mind would agree with the implication of my statement. Yet it is true nonetheless, or at least vacuously so. That's what makes it really funny.)
  • You will never see a sad face on the dance floor (That one is just true, as I've stated before in an earlier entry.)

So you see, math can be fun!

In addition to being able to make such statements as these, I also advise you to make use of the following rebuttal when someone makes a conjecture that a certain statement is true. When your nemesis, or friend, or girl you are trying to impress says "X is true", you reply with "Yeah, vacuously true!" It rarely makes sense, but on the off chance it does, well it's seriously worth it. You will be honoured for years to come. People will reminisce about the time you said "Yeah, vacuously true!" and it made complete sense, as the premise of your foe's statement could never be fulfilled.

Is my blog getting better and better? Answer: Debatable.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know if it's getting better and better, but I always enjoy it.

11:49 AM  
Blogger a spoonful weighs a ton said...

I'm glad you like it, but unfortunately, no one is reading my stupid blog. I may have to retire soon.

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's the best blog that I read that doesn't start with a few paragraphs about golf and hockey.


3:14 PM  
Blogger a spoonful weighs a ton said...

Understood. More hockey and golf coming up!

11:11 AM  
Anonymous cosine said...

This is one of only two blogs that I keep up with regularly. And the other blog is written by an ex-U.S. President now working as a secret agent on the moon. And I only remember his blog when I see his look-alike on TV, building Habitats for Humanity.

So please keep writing.

Oh, and I think you might find this funny:
Its not mine, but I found it. So I claim it for America, or however far my jurisdiction goes.

3:54 AM  
Blogger a spoonful weighs a ton said...

Thanks cosine for the link, it indeed was amusing. But I'm not going to lie, I am upset that I enjoyed it.

I'll do my best to keep writing for you and my other four fans. But if I should falter, I beg you to carry on without me. It's how I would have wanted it.

P.S. Can you link me up with that other blog you speak of? I think I've heard of it before, but I can't find it on a quick interweb search.

7:19 PM  

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