Vacuously True (and Hilariously Over-the-top!) Statements That Can't Be Denied
- Every time I murder a small puppy, I feel absolutely delighted! (What?)
- Whenever x2 < -23 (assuming x is real of course), I like to douse myself in gasoline, and light myself on fire! (That's an over-the-top statement if I've ever heard one! And hilarious too.)
- Every day that is February 30th, I like to recommend heroine as a cure for the common cold! (No doctor in his/her right mind would agree with the implication of my statement. Yet it is true nonetheless, or at least vacuously so. That's what makes it really funny.)
- You will never see a sad face on the dance floor (That one is just true, as I've stated before in an earlier entry.)
So you see, math can be fun!
In addition to being able to make such statements as these, I also advise you to make use of the following rebuttal when someone makes a conjecture that a certain statement is true. When your nemesis, or friend, or girl you are trying to impress says "X is true", you reply with "Yeah, vacuously true!" It rarely makes sense, but on the off chance it does, well it's seriously worth it. You will be honoured for years to come. People will reminisce about the time you said "Yeah, vacuously true!" and it made complete sense, as the premise of your foe's statement could never be fulfilled.
Is my blog getting better and better? Answer: Debatable.