Saturday, October 14, 2006

Bad Idea #2

Welcome to part 2 in this recurring series. The motivation behind this series can be found at Bad Idea #1. This bad idea is once again for a really bad movie. I've written the first page of the script, and the rest pretty much writes itself.

Movie Title: Neuron 5 and the Fall of Humanity

We see nothing but darkness, as a narrator begins to speak.

"Every morning within the skull of one James Sittler, a resident of San Diego, California, a neuron would fire. The firing of this neuron, henceforth referred to as neuron 1, would be followed by the firing of neuron 2 a fraction of a second later. Then fired neurons 3 and 4. At this point, neurons 5, 6, 7, and 8 would, for all practical purposes, fire simultaneously. This interesting series of events corresponded to the thought inside the skull of James as "A new morning! It is time to get out of bed. I feel like some coffee." Neurons 9 through 21 would then fire in such a sequence as to generate the thought "But you don’t look like coffee", followed closely by neurons 22 through 29 firing giddily, saying "That’s mildly humorous, but why do I make this joke every morning?"

These neuron firings happened the same way every morning for most of James’ adult life. Unfortunately for the human race, the sequence of neuron firings outlined above, but with one small change whereby neuron 5 did not fire, generated the thought “It’s time to devise a plan to end humanity.” Due to a quantum slip, neuron 5 failed to fire one sunny June morning, 2011. It should be mentioned that determinism had long since decided to put James in a position whereby he could act on this thought. A truly horrible twist of fate indeed! For James was a world leader in the fight against bioterrorism and was employed at a biosecurity firm, the very firm that was designed to stop humans with quantum slips in neuron 5 from ever succeeding in their plans. This was the beginning of the downfall of humanity, which would be wiped out in a few short years. I am the lone survivor, and I have a built this time machine to go back to 2011 and kill James Sittler!."

Lights turn on in his garage, to reveal the time machine. It's big and metallic.


From here we follow the heroes plight as he battles forces, neither good nor evil, in his attempt to stop what at first glance appears to be unstoppable. Will determinism eventually have its way? Is there anything our hero can do about it? We are led to question the concepts of free will, determinism, time travel, and probably God. In the end, it appears as though our hero has overcome the forces and has subdued James Sittler. It will turn out that the head injury James received in the scrum is the reason for neuron 5 not firing the next morning. That is a twist that is almost unfathomable, as our hero was in fact being used as a pawn in the twisted game that determinism plays on us all.

I may end the movie with it all being a dream, but I haven't decided one way or the other.

I don't think anybody has thought of anything remotely like this before.

A lot of my ideas seem to involve time travel. I'm just going to go ahead and pretend that doesn't mean anything.


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7:39 PM  
Anonymous cosine said...

Dear Make Extra Cash,

I like your blog too! But I could not find where to comment. That's stupid, you're stupid.

Though I have to say, Mr. ASWAT, that Make Extra Cash lists alot more bad ideas then you do!

7:16 PM  
Anonymous joeyjojo said...

Henceforth, I shall call you Mr. ASWAT.

That is all.

Wait, no, I have more.

I just spent 10 minutes trying to figure out who should play the main characters in this movie. I keep coming back to Jean Claude Van Damme. It might be because of his role in Time Cop, but really I just think it's because of the dancing. Yeah, it's definitely the dancing.

1:10 PM  
Blogger a spoonful weighs a ton said...

Mr. ASWAT... yes, I like this very much. I'd prefer Master ASWAT though, but whatever.

1:13 AM  

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